What Do You Want in Life? A Dream Building Exercise to Discover Your Desires
- Christine French
- Jul 28
- 8 min read
Hey sis, can I ask you something?
If I looked at you right now and asked, “What do you want in life?” would you have an answer ready?
Not the answer you think sounds responsible. Not the answer that keeps everyone comfortable. Not the answer that fits inside your current budget, schedule, or season.
I mean the real answer.
The one that lives under your daily routine. The one that shows up when you are driving alone, washing dishes, praying quietly, or watching the sunset and feeling like there has to be more.
If you do not have that answer yet, you are not behind. You are not ungrateful. You are not selfish.
You may just need space to dream again.
Wanting more does not make you selfish
A few years ago, I would have frozen if someone asked me what I wanted in life.
I prayed. I felt grateful. I counted my blessings. I believed in being thankful for what I had.
But somewhere along the way, I started to believe that wanting things for myself was wrong.
Maybe you have felt that too.
Maybe you were taught to be humble, helpful, and low maintenance. Maybe you learned to put everyone else first. Maybe you became so good at surviving, supporting, and showing up that you forgot how to desire anything specific.
So when someone asks, “What do you want?” your mind goes blank.
You may think:
I should just be thankful.
Other people have bigger problems.
I do not want to seem greedy.
I do not even know where to start.
What if I write it down and it never happens?
I understand that feeling.
But I have changed my mind about desire.
I truly believe God cares about the desires of our hearts. I believe we are allowed to want beautiful things, meaningful things, peaceful things, and joyful things. I believe we can be grateful for what we have now and still dream about what is next.
Those two things can exist together.
Gratitude does not require you to stop growing. Faith does not require you to shrink your dreams. Being content does not mean you have to become numb to your own hopes.
Sometimes the most spiritual thing you can do is get honest.
Not because every single thing you write down will appear overnight, but because honesty opens a door. It helps you see what has been buried under fear, routine, guilt, and “I should be fine.”
You cannot set goals if you do not know what you want
This is where so many people get stuck.
They try to set goals before they have given themselves permission to dream.
They write things like:
Save money
Get healthier
Be more organized
Travel more
Start something new
Those are not bad goals. They are just a little cloudy.
Save money for what?
Get healthier so you can feel how?
Travel where, with whom, and why?
Start what, and what would it give you?
A goal becomes powerful when it has a picture attached to it. Your mind needs something to hold. Your heart needs something to recognize.
That is why the question “What do you want in life?” matters so much. It is not a random journal prompt. It is the beginning of direction.
If you do not know what you want, you may keep building a life around what is urgent, expected, or familiar. You may say yes to things you do not even like because you have not named what you are moving toward.
Dream building helps you interrupt that pattern.
It gives you permission to ask:
What would feel peaceful?
What would feel exciting?
What would make me proud?
What would help me love my life more?
What would I choose if fear was not making the decision?
You do not have to know the whole path yet. You just need to let yourself tell the truth.
Try this dream building exercise
Grab a pen and paper.
Yes, actual paper if you can.
There is something powerful about writing by hand. You slow down. You feel the words. You give shape to thoughts that have been floating around inside you.
You are not making a legal contract. You are not writing a perfect plan. You are simply letting your desires breathe.
Set a timer if that helps. Ten to fifteen minutes is enough to begin, but keep going if the words are flowing.
At the top of the page, write:
If money was no object, I would...
Then start writing.
Do not edit yourself. Do not make it realistic. Do not stop to explain why something is possible or impossible. Let your imagination run.
Ask yourself questions like these.
Where would you live?
Would you live near the ocean?
Would you have a small cottage, a big family home, a condo with a view, a farmhouse, or a place that lets you travel often?
What would the rooms feel like?
Would there be fresh flowers on the table? A garden? A porch? A reading corner? A kitchen full of light?
Write the details that come to you.
Maybe your dream home is not huge. Maybe it is quiet. Maybe it smells like coffee in the morning and dinner at night. Maybe it has enough room for everyone to feel welcome without feeling crowded.
Let it be specific.
What would you drive?
Would you drive a Jeep with the windows down? A clean white SUV? A cute little convertible? A reliable car that never makes you nervous? A truck for beach days and road trips?
Maybe you would not drive much at all. Maybe you would walk to your favorite café, ride a bike, or live somewhere with everything close by.
This is not only about a car. It is about freedom, ease, safety, and identity.
What would transportation feel like in your dream life?
What would you look like and wear?
This one can feel tender, so be kind to yourself.
Do not write from criticism. Write from love.
What would you feel like in your body?
Strong? Rested? Glowing? Soft? Energized? Comfortable?
What would you wear if you dressed for joy instead of hiding?
Maybe flowy dresses, gold hoops, linen sets, bright swimsuits, cozy matching pajamas, cute workout clothes, or clothes that finally fit the version of you that you feel inside.
Let yourself imagine being cared for, confident, and comfortable.
What would you eat?
Would you cook at home?
Would someone else cook for you?
Would you have fresh fruit in the morning, smoothies after a beach walk, beautiful dinners with people you love, or simple meals you do not have to rush through?
Food can tell you a lot about the life you want.
Maybe you want more nourishment. Maybe you want more celebration. Maybe you want less stress around meals. Maybe you want to gather people around your table.
Write it all down.
What would your days feel like?
This may be the most important part.
What time would you wake up?
Would you check your phone right away, or would you pray, stretch, read, walk, or sit outside for a few quiet minutes?
What kind of work would you do?
Who would you spend your time with?
Would your days feel slow, creative, adventurous, structured, spontaneous, or full of service?
Look past the stuff and notice the feeling underneath.
A dream car may really mean freedom. A beach house may really mean peace. A full closet may really mean self-expression. A big family dinner may really mean connection.
The feeling matters.
Do not stop at the first page
Here is the part I love.
When you finish writing, you can keep the page, or you can toss it.
Really.
This exercise is not about creating pressure. It is about opening the dream muscle again.
Do it again tomorrow. Then do it again the next day. Try it for several days.
The first time, you may write what you think you are allowed to want.
The second time, you may get a little braver.
By the fifth or sixth time, something new may appear. A dream you forgot about. A desire you buried. A detail that keeps showing up.
After doing this 10 or more times, you may notice your dreams expand in ways that surprise you.
Some dreams will change. That is normal. You are allowed to grow. You are allowed to change your mind. You are allowed to want something in one season and want something different later.
But a few dreams may stay consistent.
Pay attention to those.
The dreams that keep returning are often trying to tell you something.
Invite other people to dream with you
Dream building does not have to be private unless you want it to be.
You can involve your family, friends, and even people you trust in your everyday life. Everyone can dream build together.
Ask the question over dinner:
If money was no object, what would you do?
Ask it on a road trip.
Ask it while making coffee.
Ask it during a girls’ night, a family beach day, or a slow Sunday afternoon.
You may be amazed by what people say.
Someone you love may dream of opening a bakery. Someone may want land, animals, and a quiet life. Someone may want to take their children around the world. Someone may want to pay off every bill, care for their parents, or finally write a book.
These conversations can be beautiful because they pull people out of small talk and into possibility.
They also help you expand your own imagination.
Sometimes you hear someone else’s dream and think, “Wait, I could want that too.” Or, “I never even thought that was an option.”
That is the gift of dreaming out loud.
Be gentle with each other. No dream needs to be judged, corrected, or made practical right away.
The point is not to solve everything in one conversation. The point is to remember that life can be imagined before it is built.
Turn your dreams into gentle next steps
After you have done the writing exercise for a few days, read through what you wrote if you kept the pages.
Circle anything that keeps repeating.
Look for patterns like:
More time outside
More travel
A calmer home
Better health
A creative project
A stronger prayer life
More family connection
More freedom with money
A different kind of work
A deeper sense of confidence
Then choose one small next step.
Do not try to rebuild your whole life in one weekend. That can make dreaming feel heavy.
Start tiny.
If you dream of living near the ocean, plan a beach day and notice how you feel there.
If you dream of a beautiful home, clean one corner and add something that makes you smile.
If you dream of feeling healthier, take a walk after dinner or make one nourishing meal.
If you dream of writing, open a blank page and write for ten minutes.
If you dream of travel, research one place and create a simple savings jar.
Small steps do not make your dream small. They make it real.
The life you want often begins with one honest sentence and one brave action.
Keep dreaming even when the list changes
My dreams change all the time.
Some of them grow. Some fade. Some come back years later with a different meaning. Some stay so consistent that I know they are part of me.
That is why this practice matters.
Dream building is not a one-time assignment. It is a way of checking in with your heart.
You are allowed to ask yourself again and again:
What do I want now?
What feels alive?
What feels complete?
What am I ready to release?
What am I ready to receive?
Your answers may surprise you.
And sis, if your answer is still “I do not know,” that is okay too. Start there. Write that down. Keep writing after it.
“I do not know what I want, but I think I want...”
That sentence can open so much.
I would love for you to be part of one of my dreams too. I send monthly letters filled with heart, encouragement, and a little Maui aloha. You can subscribe at mauialohamail.com.
So here is your next step: grab the pen, get the paper, and give yourself permission to want.
Not someday.
Today.
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